The Q

I love the Subway.
It's riding the School Bus, but these are adults, thus given it's tradition I always feel that there is a tremendous amount of comradeship. We rode in this morning, about a twenty-five minute trip iinto Manhattan. Every now and then you'll get somebody crossing cars and walking into yours. You know that they're different just for the sake of moving between cars, not worried about someone stopping them or staring. Occasionally it's some homeless guy shouting in need, occasionally crazy, sometimes just desperate and embarrassed, they smell of hot dogs and body odor and they appeal to your better nature or your upscale "homeless means gross" nature (which is pretty much mine, fakers are in abundance) they reach out there hand and you toss some money into a Tropicana carton. Today it was Dancer that walked on. They warned us ahead of time, there will be dancing, we should be prepared to see some hot shit. Three of them walked on, two black, one white. The first guy started, he ran down doing flips, jumping from the pole hitting the ground with is hands. They performed back flips up and down, tied their hand together, rolled down. "Whoever said white men can't jump," one guy said about his white co-star. The guy did some flips with the other partner and hits his head on the ceiling, leaving a big red mark. White men can't jump I guess. Some people are just ignoring them and their boom box, some are staring, my family doesn't applaud, but I manage a slow and subtle clap. They hold out their flat bills for money and i wish i had broken that twenty in my pocket. It was impressive, it was impressive because they broke the ice on that subway ride, because they through themselves out there. There's a  lot of power if you can manage to entertain a subway car full of strangers, full of preconceived notions, tourists trying to be New Yorkers, New Yorkers trying to tell them apart and vice versa. I think I can dig a Hardy niche for myself here, when the time comes, and it will, even if i have to break dance.

Seedy Seeds Sedy Seds

I had a dream last night, the stereotypical party with everyone you know or knew. They were all there living or dead. My deceased Cousin Bethany was sitting on the end of a sectional telling me how wasted she got the previous night. I chuckled and my eyes wandered around looking at her family whom in real life misses her dearly, but for this moment was just another one of there kids. The couch surrounded an enormous bonfire which everyone surrounded, and by everyone, I mean everyone I have ever known. I arrived at Ryle, the Auditorium, back when Perkins was around, except this time the auditorium was large and grand, balconies like the Arnoff. We were still working on some project, there were enormous ladders so that one could travel from balcony to balcony. Culp was at the bottom practicing a song as I saw Alex in a long overcoat move down the ladder.

I hope to God I'm making a film by this time next year. NKU, a young film program, promising, but not if no one has any idea what you're talking about. I'm not berating  people before I meet them, just looking out for my best interest and wondering where that interest lies.

Driving down 75 away from the city. Cincinnati had it's charms, but I feel like I will have exhausted them in a year or two. Poses is playing in the CD player. Louis and I, to two talented people, will we leave?


It always happens, I'm not even in college yet, and already sure that I will never get out.
Monday I'm flying to New York. Seeing a show everyday, my father's style. It's been a year and a half, many things have changed, including the spouse in attendance. I think this will be an eyeopening trip, but the question is which direction. Will this city seem staggeringly unapproachable, or will i knock em' dead. Hope it remembers me. I don't remember it.





Final thoughts:
The Seedy Seeds would e totez cooler if they played anything live.
There is some mean banjo playing as well as drum work that should be given a chance.
If they do not perform everything live, i am forced to assume they are the Monkeys, and thus do not play there own instruments. END

There Is Nothing Like The Drive Back From The Pink House

The Older I Get The Smarter My Father Becomes

Ah if I was one of those guys.  Just ask a girl out, if only for tat single date. I'm not talking one-night-stands, just a date, go out, walk around share ideas. If I could do that not cling. Here inside the abyss of my mind, there is a fear, perhaps it is too late. Reality laughs staring into the truth.
"It's not true, it's not true, boy, you're in youth."
Yeah, I am.
Saw a sign on the side of the road today:
"The Older I Get The Smarter My Father Becomes"
It was a church sign, given they meant God by Father, but stripped of the religious connotation or not, I couldn't agree less.
Say Yes by Elliott Smith

Plenty of times when I'm out on a drive and the water stares me dead in the eye

There’s a Steak ‘N Shake Sticker on my wallet in a swarm of Chiquitas. My brother gave me the Steak ‘N Shake one about two weeks ago. He wore a band-aid on his chin after he a tooth pulled and had probably convinced himself of it’s shield. I love this boy. It will be one of the true joys of my life to watch this child grow up. My Sister said the other day that she would have here first child at twenty-two, just the way our Mom did it.
“And i did it just perfectly.” Mom says. DHL is Hiring and I need a job. My other brothers are in town.  We made a cartoon. They went racing.
“How many siblings do you have?”
“Six.”
“Are you the oldest?”
“Yes.”

I awoke this morning, 4:23, sick as a dog, vomiting for an hour, two and half hours sleep. I couldn’t lay down in my bed. There was no where to turn. We had a full house.
Sick as a  dog, I got in the car and took 42 into a trance. I threw on Anonanimal, best driving music ever. I was Rabbit Angstrom, a copy sitting in the passengers seat. I had been thinking for about a week, after listening to that CD I had burned of Noble Beast. It was time for another, but in the infinite trance of this morning, it was perfectly appropriate. he sickness was gone. The destination was set in my mind, the same one I took about a year ago today. Its an eve, whatever you want to call it. In sixteen days the anniversary is upon us. The divorce, shells broken, nights spent at Ryle in solace and safety, the work environment all collapsing and coming together, call it the climax to the birth of a man.

I return on this day. Why.