Tuesday will be the day that I die.
By Barry Rowen

Darling it’s time a write you a letter because tomorrow will be the day I die.
Let’s not dwell on the subject, okay?
We’ve seen this coming, at least I have.
Whether it’s my fault or the other party involved, is rather unimportant.
Tomorrow is Tuesday, I die on Tuesday. It’s set in stone.
I know what you’re thinking.
“You didn’t die last Tuesday.”
Well last Tuesday wasn’t his this Tuesday and this Tuesday I die. It’s that simple, but I can understand you having a hard time.
I’ve got ten minutes before my nightly workout, more than enough time to roll over some of the good ole’ days with you. Well, where do we start…
We were born on the east coast and searched for a marital existence within the Midwest.
We found a farm to rent where I made a living raising cattle, pigs, and llamas. Of course due to the “accident” I couldn’t milk a cow, but once we figured that out…
Remember that time we dressed the llama up like your mother, yeah good times.
Who knew she resembled a llama quite so well.
From our love affair came a son. I don’t really feel the need to tell him though. This news would only burden him and I just don’t feel it’s my place. Ever since he bought that turtle it seems that he’s had his hands full. I remember his first infatuation with animals at the Zoo when he was three. I had wandered off looking for a bar and left him in the capable hands of a female gorilla. I returned, somewhat intoxicated, admittedly, to find Pepito’s legs broken.
Darling, he’s not a man, he cried for days, and I was just like well, you know what there something called a good impression.
Moreover though, I am going to die!
Sad? Perhaps, but we must take it in stride, perhaps I belong elsewhere.
We both know I am an active Hindu so of course after I have died; my soul shall invade the body of another benevolent creature on this earth.
I have made every effort to prepare for such an incident. Last night I went on a website that Jimmy Whales told me about call Wikipedia. Lovely site, FYI ha. I researched many animals such as the giraffe, antelope, cantaloupe (because they rhymed ha), camel, grizzly bear, and tiger. I feel that I am more than prepared at this point to take on the shape of any creature in the afterlife, which should occur somewhere around Wednesday.